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Apr 22, 2019

Your Cheating Heart

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By Charmaine Albuquerque, India [ Published Date: July 19, 2010 ]

Your cheatin' heart will make you weep
You'll cry and cry and try to sleep
But slee-eep won't come the whole night through
Your cheatin' heart will tell on you

I am sure all you Elvis Presley fans out there will agree, that hearing Elvis belt out the number, is something that words cannot describe.   A search on what prompted Hank Williams to come up with this number, tells me that it was the thought of his first wife Audrey, which inspired him to write the song while driving with his second wife!

I feel that no one "thinks" about having an affair - they just happen. The problem occurs when the mind is willing to hold back, but the heart and body are weak.  But let us play devilís advocate, at times the situations are such that no one can predict how  people react and these external factors might be the reason ; that some end up in extramarital affairs.

I believe that in todayís instant and happening world - monogamy is a thing of the past. You are not "hep and happening" if you are monogamous.  Who wants to be monogamous and not experience the thrill of being with someone new, instead of the same boring person?   Is it a wonder then, that the number of people indulging in "swinging" and "f--- buddies" is ever increasing? Additionally some individuals feel that, they are not getting support or attention at home - the "ghar ki murghi dal barabar syndrome". 

So instead of talking to their better halves and resolving problems, they turn away from the marriage and get into a relationship, where attention and support is easily available. Soon it becomes a second nature and one can stop counting the number of affairs, which these individuals end up having!  Of course, it is not only the environment, opportunity, thrill and the like that cause people to stray from their current marriage. I would put the blame on each individualís shoulders -  itís called bad judgment and that changes their lives forever.

So what does one do if their spouse is having an affair? Some would confront them - others think that revenge is sweet.  So if my partner can have an affair, why canít I?  Does this solve the problem- No! Does this make anyone feel good- maybe for a few days?   The reality- not at all!  In fact- Boom- there goes another marriage out of the window!!  The question that comes to our mind is that of the spouse- does this person feel pain?  Many a times we hear individuals say that, they never thought their significant other would feel hurt if, they had a fling, but rather they would "understand".  The only thing I understand is that there is surely going to be pain and letís not forget the anger that arises out of this state of affairs.

So is there any immunization from this malady?  The answer according to me is, No. I know many of you will not agree.  But that is the shocking truth.  Only a small portion of todayís world who believes in commitment, monogamy and good judgment will be spared.  This reminded me of Paul Newman, the late Hollywood star, who when asked about the secret to his happy married life said "I donít need to go for hamburgers outside, when I have steak at home".  Vegetarian or meat-eater, remember it takes only one percent of your time to commit adultery, which can change the remaining ninety nine percent of your time, life and marriage.  So like Shania Twain let us, From this Moment sing the ballad of the Everly Brothers "Devoted to You".

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Madhu, India :
Hi Charmaine,

Am so glad I bumped into one of your article and then I read all of them one after another....

I am glad that I found someone on this platform who thinks, writes and feels for such everyday issues ....Someone whose is broad minded yet whose feet are firmly on the ground...

Great work..pls write more
Shiva, UAE:
Interesting to read the comments less on the the subject and more on Hank and Elvis
SHENOY R, India :
I remember seeing a movie back in 1977. [Was it called Ek baar phir?] The hero [anti hero shall we say has affair and when questioned why he breaks some one's house, he replies 'I do not break any one's house but I visit the broken house'.Serious stuff about adultery or adults at play.

The emotionally bankrupt tend to have affairs. When lust over takes reason, one of the important commandments goes through the window.
A.S.Mathew, USA :
"Marriage may be made in heaven, but man is responsible for the maintenance work"
Changing Times.

Thus grief still treads upon the heels of pleasure, Marry'd in haste, we may repent in leisure" Willism Congreve.

" If a child of God marries a child of the devil, the child of God is sure to have some troubles with his father-in law" Anonymous.

"Marriage is Heaven and Hell" German proverb.

"Marriage has many pains, but celibacy has no pleasure" Samuel Johnson.

"The state Matrimony is the chief in the world after religion; but people shun it
because of its inconveniences, like the one who, running out of rain, falls into the river" Martin Luther

"What therefore God hath joined together, let not man put asunder" Mathew 19:6.(Bible)

"It is not good that man should be alone" Genesis 2:18 (Bible).

"True it is that marriage be done in heaven and performed on earth" William Painter.

"Marriage with peace in this world's
Paradise;With strife, this life's Purgatory" Politeuphuia, P 277

"Marriages are made in heaven, but they are lived on earth". George P. Weiss.
Kudpi Rajanikanth Shenoy, India :
I've listened to many versions of that song but the best voice was that of Patsy Cline!

Charmaine, your article befits Valentines Day on a different note, though!

Thanks for carrying me home down the memory lane! :-)
Kanthi, Canada :
Hi Charmaine. I love reading your articles. Good job. Keep it up.

Did you do your schooling in St Ann's Mlore by any chance? Let me know if you are the same Charmaine I know from High School. You can write to me at
Charmaine, India :
Thanks Preetha.

@Sunil, I am aware that Hank Williams wrote the number and did the original version. I also agree with you, that the rightful person gets his due. If you notice that's excatly what I have done by indicating how Hank came up with the song in the first place and no where indicated that it was Elvis's creation :)
preetha, India :
Charmaine, a nice one again! Just came across a quote from Benjamin Franklin....."Where there's Marriage without Love, there will be Love without Marriage." Probably true?!
Sunil, India :
"Your Cheatin' Heart" is a song written and recorded by the American country music singer and songwriter Hank Williams in 1952, but released after his death in 1953. Elvis and a host of other singers did the cover versions. due credit needs to be given to the rightful person!
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